Silenced Insecurities

to start out i’d like to say that i have been so busy lately that i want to cry.

now,moving on.

i bought the book unChristian the other day. i’ve been wanting to get it for a few months and i finally did.But sadly it’s been a week and i have only had time to read one chapter =[

but,by reading that one chapter,Jesus has brought something to my attention...

here we go.

I have observed the christian lifestyles and culture, and I'm not very happy with it.I'm not very happy with the way we have presented ourselves or the things we have been focusing on.

Most christians [not all,but most] are focused on being popular.

Here’s a good example: a youth group decides that they need to get the worlds attention,they need some new way to reach hearts.But instead of doing what Jesus has been telling us to do,they do what they think will catch their attention.

[there is a big difference between Jesus and us.And we had better not get in the way of Jesus...i have learned this.]

So this keeps going on,the kids keep trying to be different from the world with cool hairstyles,cheesey tee-shirts,and trying to change the soft praise-and-worship songs into screamo. [not going against screamo,considering i love it but there are times for screamo and there are times where Praise-and-worship is needed.]

So they keep going like this to the point where other people who aren’t apart of that church see them acting this way and don’t see a difference in the two lifestyles [christian and -insert religion here-].So the kids don’t see the point of going,or they start to have negative views on these so-called christians.These people have been so wrapped up in being popular that they aren’t doing what God wants them to do,Actually God is nowhere near them.

One of my best friend’s Mom and i were talking one day about how we’ve gotten on a different path than the one God wants us on, to the point of being like “hey,this is all about God.God wants me to do this,He’ll back me up” and then looking around and realizing that He’s no where near you in that area.

Kind of scary…but it teaches you to be careful.

So all i’m saying is…i’m sick of these so-called christians that are so focused on being popular and getting someones attention that they’ll do anything.

if i offended you,i’m not sorry. I needed to realize this for myself this week.We all do that,we’re all guilty of it in some way. We’re only human…but we have to try our hardest to step away from that.

next:

i get sick of being reminded of my past.It makes me want to stop,break down,give up,and cry.But of course,the enemy would love for me to do that and that only makes me stronger.

 i’m a hypocrit.seriously.but i’m trying to step away from that. I guess in some ways we’re all hypocrits.We say one thing and we know it’s the right thing,but we do something else.

Again i say…we’re only human,but thats not a good excuse.

i like to talk,and i wish spring would come sooner.

I can’t wait to go out in my yard and lay down under the trees and just embrace it all. Its hard to find the beauty in winter.